In my last blog post I wrote about embracing who you are and owning it. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the truth of who I am and what I want – and remains an ongoing journey.
I admitted in that post that I’m not the person to write literary fiction (my deep respect to all the people who do!). I want to entertain and provide happy endings and use my love of words to write contemporary romance . . . and with that understanding I am getting more and more comfortable just being me. Finally.
However, on the flip side of that coin is . . . worry. Not worry about being judged for my admission, but a worry about the other thing that is inherently me. What is that you say? Well, I just happen to be a change junkie. I love change, can’t get enough it, apparently. I chase rainbows and have worked several different jobs and have successfully started 3+ businesses. I will not be the person who lies on their deathbed and wishes they had taken more risks. Nope, that will not be me.
It has been brought to my attention that others have labeled me as “flighty” (probably by the same people who WILL be lying on their deathbeds with regrets, but I digress) – a person who is constantly changing their mind and moving in a new direction, unable to commit. It’s not unusual for a friend who I haven’t seen in a while to say something on the order of, “Well, it’s been a month since I’ve seen you, what are you doing NOW?” and chuckle at their cleverness.
And, unfortunately, I’ve begun to internalize these comments and often ask myself, “Do I have what it takes to commit to something long-term?” or “You’ve wanted to write a book your whole life, can you actually finish it?”
But, I think (not totally sure yet), this is why writing fiction is such a good fit for me. Every book is an opportunity to explore a new world. Through each character I can discover a new occupation or hobby. Trying new things should be as easy as opening up my laptop and my imagination.
Could it be that I’ve finally found a home for my passions and my wanderlust? Could it be that every stop along my path (every change) was leading me to this? At just the right time, just when I was finally ready to settle in to it?
Have you found an outlet for all the crazy, seemingly disconnected things that make you, you? Where have your personal “forks in the road” led you? What have they taught you?